I recently finished co-writing a song my fellow co-writer and I have been working on for eight months. It never ceases to amaze me how some songs simply spill out of you while others need time to gestate. As we worked through the lyrics, this song really forced me to consider what it means to “find ourselves.”

Finding one’s self is something many have spoken of, but this particular song has required that I think about it in a way that, until now, I never have. It has made me realize that seeking to “find ourselves” is one more way we can actually knock the trajectory of our lives completely out of phase. So, how do we “find” our true self?

Culture would tell us it is chasing our desires, trusting our feelings, playing to our strengths, and stepping on those we must as we climb the proverbial ladder of success. Scripture tells us something completely different.

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:39 (ESV) 
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12 (ESV) 
But many who are first will be last, and the last first. Matthew 19:30 
But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 1 Corinthians 1:27 (NIV) 

Denying our own logic, forsaking our dreams for a higher calling and then trying not to make sense of it, waiting – sometimes for years, trusting the plan although the lamp at our feet only allows us to see the next step or two, and all such things God’s call on our life requires can not only be difficult, but downright disappointing. However, it is often only when we press into the illogical, the uncomfortable, the unsettling, and the disappointing that we begin to experience the true adventure God has purposed for us.

We see this throughout scripture. Patriarchs pressing into the unknown, fighting their frustrations, being misunderstood, criticized, abused, and even martyred—in other words, keeping their focus in phase, all for the sake of God’s calling. This is, I believe, why scripture tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6)

And, though we may not see it for years, or maybe never on this side of Heaven, we can be assured that though the struggle is real, God’s grace, mercy, and love will be lavished upon us in far greater portion, overwhelming our heartaches and making sense of our disappointments.

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