Control. To varying degrees each of us wants it. This desire becomes evident at a very young age. Whether a parent or not, each of us has seen toddlers throw tantrums when they don’t get their way. And, if not dealt with in those early years, in just one short decade the teenager who is desiring control will almost certainly be more difficult to rein in. From there, if the desire for control is not brought into phase, those teenagers will be far more likely to become controlling spouses, parents, bosses, etc.

Sadly, the more controlling the person the smaller their social circle. The reason for this is obvious: who wants to be around a person who is always bossing, always correcting, or always making all the decisions? And, just as with toddlers, appeasement will at best only temporarily quell the desire for control, precisely because the issue at hand is not the motivation to fulfill the current want, but an attempt to satisfy a longing that is ultimately only found through surrender. Surrendering our thoughts, our hopes, our wants, and our very lives to the God who made us.

At our very core, our heart’s greatest desire is to live out the purpose for which we were created. Unfortunately, these desires often go unrealized precisely because of our very own clamoring for control.

God spoke to Israel through the prophet Jeremiah of His desire for His people saying,

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

This verse is not only applicable because it speaks to God’s plans for us as being for our good, but also because in context this verse was spoken to a nation in judgment, precisely because they were insisting on being in control of their own lives.

At the end of the day, control is no different than everything else in life; it is not inherently a bad thing. As a matter of fact, to experience life in all its fullness is to live a life of self-control.

Self-control allows us to savor one piece of pie while refraining from eating the whole thing. Self-control allows us to develop a budget so that we can live within our means. Self-control helps us to consider words before speaking – saving a lot of frustration and heartache along the way. Self-control is the healthy form of control: it is – to stay consistent with the theme of this blog series – control “in phase.”