I Won’t Give Up

Divorce is heartbreaking to me. Its effects run deep, impacting not only the here and now, but setting into motion a life-altering chain of events which can negatively impact families for generations.

As humans we are so quick to justify our feelings, rationalize our decisions, and excuse away any negative consequences, accepting them as inevitable or even normal, all as a way of anesthetizing ourselves to the pain our choices bring to us and others.

I realize there are circumstances which may necessitate divorce. There are times when the cycle of abuse or infidelity can only be broken through separation. But with that said, marriage does take work and to have a healthy marriage requires each party giving 100 percent to the other.

Statistics show that even in today’s church divorce is just as common place as in the secular world, but why is this? Why is it that people of faith can be just as prone to walk away from the marriage covenant they made before God and man? How is it that people of hope can so quickly give up on the spouse to whom they pledged their life? And why is it that as parents we can so easily lose sight of the impact of these decisions on our children?

My daughters recently received a couple Jason Mraz CD’s. If you’re not familiar with Jason, he is a very talented songwriter and, though not known as a Christian artist, certainly has a couple songs I believe hold within them amazing scriptural truths. One “I Won’t Give Up,” is a beautiful song of commitment and the other, “Love For A Child,” speaks of the sad consequences of divorce on children. I have pasted the lyrics below and though some might find the lyrics to the latter offensive, I would suggest any offense lie, not in the lyrics, but in the subject matter the lyrics so soberly convey.

As we enter the time of year when we think about resolutions, I pray your resolve would be to take Jason’s advice and not “give up” on your marriage and through your relationship with your spouse model God’s unconditional love to all you meet.

I Won’t Give Up

When I look into your eyes / It’s like watching the night sky / Or a beautiful sunrise / There’s so much they hold / And just like them old stars / I see that you’ve come so far / To be right where you are / How old is your soul?

I won’t give up on us / Even if the skies get rough / I’m giving you all my love / I’m still looking up

And when you’re needing your space / To do some navigating / I’ll be here patiently waiting / To see what you find / ‘Cause even the stars they burn / Some even fall to the earth / We’ve got a lot to learn / God knows we’re worth it / No: I won’t give up

I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily / I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make / Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use / The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake / And in the end, you’re still my friend at least we did intend for us to work we didn’t break, we didn’t burn / We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in / I had to learn what I’ve got, and what I’m not, and who I am

I won’t give up on us / Even if the skies get rough / I’m giving you all my love / I’m still looking up

I won’t give up on us (no I’m not giving up) / God knows I’m tough enough (I am tough, I am loved) / We’ve got a lot to learn (we’re alive, we are loved) / God knows we’re worth it (and we’re worth it)

I won’t give up on us / Even if the skies get rough / I’m giving you all my love / I’m still looking up

“Love For A Child”

There’s a picture on my kitchen wall / Looks like Jesus and his friends involved / There’s a party getting started in the yard / There’s a couple getting steamy in the car parked in the drive / Was I too young to see this with my eyes?

By the pool last night, apparently / The chemicals weren’t mixed properly / You hit your head and then forgot your name / And then you woke up at the bottom by the drain / And now your altitude and memory’s a shame

What about taking this empty cup and filling it up / With a little bit more of innocence / I haven’t had enough, it’s probably because when you’re young / It’s okay to be easily ignored / I like to believe it was all about love for a child

And when the house was left in shambles / Who was there to handle all the broken bits of glass / Was it mom who put my dad out on his ass or the other way around / Well I’m far too old to care about that now

It’s kinda nice to work the floor since the divorce / I’ve been enjoying both my Christmases and my birthday cakes / And taking drugs and making love at far too young an age / And they never check to see my grades / What a fool I’d be to start complaining now

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