I hear many people talk about what they want, what they wish or hope for. But what is it you truly desire?
Everyone has hopes, dreams and what their perfect life would entail: the perfect house, job, car, family, friends. So, what stops them from living their perceived best life? What is it that knocks their desires out of phase?
Some dreams are just that – dreams. They are something about which we fantasize but genuinely do not have the ability to fulfill. More often, however, our dreams are knocked out of phase by our own self-sabotage. But, we typically call them reasons: the less than ideal conditions of our upbringing, our lack of education, the rigged system, the lack of money, connections, or opportunities. We bemoan the unfairness of life, the luck of others, and the fact that we are too old, too ugly, too stupid, or the perceived reality that “everyone is out to get me.”
However, more often than not these “reasons” are not reasons at all – they are the excuses we have allowed to knock the very purpose for which we were made out of phase. I have seen this happen in my own life and in the lives of others. There is something we desire but when we realize the effort (work), expense (money), or cost (the sacrifice of comfort, approval, or status quo), we subconsciously decide our dream is not worth the sacrifice and dismiss it as unrealistic.
It is an easy disconnect. We see all the pictures of our “friends” on social media; their big houses, new cars, exotic vacations and we think it must be nice. We watch people perform on stage, we see people around us get promoted, we assume the family next door with the happy marriage and the well-behaved children have somehow simply won life’s lottery. When in reality, every dream realized requires work. Work to accomplish. Work to sustain.
When our hopes, dreams, and desires are out of phase we use the word can’t when what we really mean is don’t or won’t. Here are some examples:
“I wish I could be fit, but I can’t resist sweets” versus “I desire to be fit, but I won’t give up my sweets.”
“I would like to visit grandpa, but I just can’t stand to go into nursing homes” versus “I want to spend time with grandpa, but I don’t want to be uncomfortable.”
To keep our hopes, dreams, and desires in phase, the question we must ask ourselves is “What do I value more?” Do I place a greater value on the immediate gratification of the chocolate cake or my long-term health goals? Am I more concerned with my relationships or my own comfort?
What are your hopes, dreams, and desires? Are you living them? If not, ask yourself what has knocked them out of phase? Are they truly unrealistic? Possibly. But, more often than not, the value of our own comfort, pleasure, or ease has sidetracked them.
As the old adage goes “Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” What do you need to sacrifice today to put in the require effort to live a life where your hopes, dreams, and desires are in phase?
